The Incredible’s Incredible Romance

Brad Bird is a Genius (He’s on my short list of people to meet before I die – or he does).  He directed two of my all time favorite films The Iron Giant and The Incredibles.

Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl (AKA Bob and Helen Parr) are one of the great screen romances of all time.  Two people who love each other and spend an entire film trying to sort out how to make it work.

The first time we see them together they’re flirting, competing (I had a student yesterday say they were trying to Dominate each other – LOVED IT!) and on their way to get married.  It’s an AWESOME scene.

There’s a moment in the scene that goes by so quickly most people miss it.  Elastigirl does this amazing stretch up over his head and back through his legs as she says “I think you need to be more flexible.” As their faces pass in profile* they form perfect puzzle pieces of each other.  His huge chin fills the space her softer chin leaves, her upturned nose fits perfectly into the space under his downward nose, even his brow ridge fits into her hairline. Did I mention that Brad Bird is a genius?

They don’t belong together because they’re the same, but because they are so different, seriously, if they both had those huge chins, they would never be able to kiss…ok they could because her lips would stretch, but you get my point.

Soooo why are they drawn to each other?  If you asked them, he’s say something like “Have you seen her, she’s Elastigirl, think about it.” She’d say something like “He’s Mr. Incredible, he’s the best.” These answers would be true and honest, but they don’t go deep enough.  On some subconscious level (see by post on projections http://animatingyourlife.com/2013/01/19/jung-and-freud-in-love ) they both know that they are incomplete, that they need to learn and grow.  He’s the strongest man in the world, but he can’t bend, he can’t adapt, he has no flexibility.  She’s the most flexible woman in the world, but she lacks strength – they tell her she can’t be a super hero any more and she picks up her broom and becomes what they tell her she has to be.  She needs strength.

Over the course of the film she learns to maintain her personal integrity – to be whom and what she is.  He learns to adapt and be flexible.  They both fight this growth and it almost destroys them, when they accept it, they become . . . Incredible (did you see how I did that – clever ain’t I?)

Once again, we are attracted to the people, situations, and art that our subconscious mind knows will teach us something.

More about the balance between strength and flexibility in my next blog.Strong Weakness – Lessons From Mulan

*on my DVD it’s at 5:25 – check it out.

Check out some more of my thoughts on this awesome movie here Finding my Incredilbes SuperPower

Love and Romance in Agrabah

Let’s look at Disney’s Aladdin and see what we can learn.

Shortly after Aladdin and Jasmine meet in the market he takes her to his home on the rooftops.  It’s pretty clear to anyone paying attention that they’re falling in love.  There’s lots of eye contact, some “accidental” sexual contact (seriously, her bare cheek is on his naked chest at one point) and some pole-vaulting between buildings, a pretty normal teen romance. Bring on the violins and the cheesy love songs they’re in love.

BUT wait a sec.  They don’t know each other.  Here’s a great example of what I was talking about in my last post.  Just why are they falling for each other?  What does her subconscious mind see in him?  What does she represent to him?

Here’s what I think . . . because I know you want to know what I think.

Jasmine’s a young woman who needs freedom.  She lives in a prison, it’s a very nice prison, but she has to break out to go for a stroll around town.  She needs to be free.  It’s not just the palace that keeps her imprisoned, she lives an utterly ridged life: follows the rules, afraid to think for herself, she needs freedom.  He lives by himself, steals for a living and makes up his own rules, how could she not fall for him?  It doesn’t hurt that he looks pretty hot without a shirt on.

Aladdin’s a young man who is a diamond in the rough.  He lacks focus, drive, direction.  He doesn’t have a clue what he wants past his next meal.  His subconscious mind (much smarter than our conscious mind) sees a woman who knows what she wants and has gone to some lengths to get it, she’s focused and strong.  He doesn’t know she’s a princess yet, but have you seen her posture and her walk cycle?  Oh and she’s got pretty awesome eyes that you could get lost in for days.

Over the course of the film, they get to know each other and something like the beginnings of real love start to grow, but here on Aladdin’s rooftop, they’re being sucked in by their subconscious projections . . . and the crazy pole-vaulting.

I Want to be really clear here, I want you to fall crazy in love every once in a while (BRING IT ON – I WANT IT TOO) I just want you to know what’s really going on when it happens.

For a little more on the egghead Psych stuff around love and romance check out

http://animatingyourlife.com/2013/01/19/jung-and-freud-in-love/

Jung and Freud in love

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET ARE

Egghead alert.  The following post is a bit of deeper stuff about the whole love issue.  Skip it and go right onto the other posts if you’re not interested.

Psychology Today (link below) says that falling in love is like with being on Cocaine.  I didn’t need Psychology Today to tell me that, BEEN THERE, and I can tell you for sure that Falling in Love sure felt like that time the Dr. put me on Morphine . . . can’t draw a direct comparison with Cocaine – haven’t been there.

We can only fall CRAZY in love with someone we don’t know.  Once we get to know them, assuming we still love them, we actually love them (very different from the Romantic notion of being “In Love”.  We know their faults, where they come up short, how they drive us crazy, and we decide to love them anyway.

Carl Jung*says that when we fall crazy in love that we are getting sucked in by a projection.  Some part of our subconscious knows we have to learn something and it sees (or feels) that this person can teach us what we need to know.  In simple terms “I fall for anyone who’s kind to me” can mean “I need to be kind to myself”.  “I fall for strong guys” could be telling us “I need to learn to be strong”, “I always fall for party girls” might be trying to tell us we need to loosen up a bit.

* Big time Smarty Pants psychologist – worked with Freud until they had a big, stinky fight and didn’t talk again for years . . . maybe they needed a good therapist.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-joint-adventures-well-educated-couples/201208/falling-in-love-is-smoking-crack-cocaine