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Posts tagged ‘shame’

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Accepting My Inner Ogre – ridding the world of Ographobia

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Shrek?  Why yes, yes I did. – Check out my other posts on Shrek.

Making it Real with Shrek

Breakin’ Out With My Favourite Ogre

This morning I was talking to a student about Fiona and how she changes…her arc.

Here’s a princess with a VERY dark secret…SPOILER ALERT…SPOILER ALERT She’s an ogre by night – only true love’s first kiss can break the spell.  Her’s a princess with some serious shame – she hates something she is – something she has no control over.  She’s got some serious Ographobia going on…that’s a nasty thing when you are an Ogre.

Her arc – from shame to acceptance and on to celebration.  Go Fiona!  Pretty awesome stuff here – how does it happen?  I’m sooo glad you asked.  I’m going to tell you how she starts…

She MEETS AN OGRE.  She comes face to face with her biggest fear and she finds out – – – wait for it – – – he’s not the baby eating, virgin violating monster she’s been led to believe.  He’s a grumpy, curmudgeon, but he’s not a monster.  It takes a while, (about half the movie) to fully accept it, but being an Ogre just isn’t so bad…it can be kind of fun actually.

One of the best way to combat prejudice is to actually meet the people we judge – the people we make assumptions about.  When we do, we’re going to find out that some of them will TOTALLY confirm our preconceived ideas, but most of them will not.  Any group regardless of how we try to pigeon hole them – race, sex, sexuality, language, culture, hair colour, financial status, clothing, ogreness – will have its share of good and evil, caring and selfish, givers and takers.  It is always the same.  Fiona learns to accept herself by meeting an Ogre – the very thing she hates and fears the most – when she does, she finds that he’s not that horrible – – – and neither is she.

Something else occurred to me this morning.  Fiona’s arc isn’t just about shame, it’s also about arrogance and pretention.  She thinks (and acts) like she’s just a wee bit better than the rest of us…OK maybe a LOT better than the rest of us.  Over the course of the film she realizes that those two extremes are both false, she is neither more monstrous, nor superior to anyone else.  She’s just a woman/ogre…when she discovers and accepts this she is finally happy, loved and content.

The times in my life when I was most pretentious and most arrogant (I know, I know you can’t imagine me being arrogant of pretentious, but yes my friends, I’ve been there, done that and picked up a T-Shirt that was WAY better than yours) have all coinsided with my most insecure, and shameful times, times when I struggled the most with self esteem and self acceptance.  What do you say we all just accept ourselves – warts, green skin and all – and at the same time accept that our strengths and our weaknesses don’t make us better or worse than anyone around us – they make us human – or Ogre as the case may be.

Scarlett O’Hara & Mark Twain – Worry and Time Management.

I’m lazy and smart* the two together have made me an expert on time management – actually worked as a time management expert for a while.  This morning I saw the following picture/caption.

Quote from Dan Zadra - not sure where the art comes from, if you know, please let me know so I can credit it.

Quote from Dan Zadra – not sure where the art comes from, if you know, please let me know so I can credit it.

Made me think about something I wrote a while ago on the subject of worry and time management.

Scarlet O’Hara was one of the best time managers ever! When something was bothering her she was famous for saying “I’ll think about that tomorrow”.  She was also famous for saying “Fiddle Dee Dee”; I have no clue what that was about, but I’ll think about that tomorrow.

I wouldn’t suggest you emulate Scarlet on a lot of issues, she married her sister’s fiancée who she didn’t love, because he was rich and then supported him in his KKK activity (I think it was the same husband – she had four or five) – these are not admirable traits, but she knew how to get things done and not worrying was a BIG part of her system.

Worry takes up a HUGE amount of time and energy and gives us NOTHING in return.

NOTHING!

STOP IT!

I know, I know, it’s easier said than done, but try pulling a Scarlett and scheduling your worry.  It works, yank out your date book.  Tomorrow – or the next day – between 8:00 and 8:25 can be worry-fret-angst time, right now you’ve got more important things to do and so do I.

Adding in a Fiddle dee dee or two is up to you.  I bet you won’t even be able to remember what you were supposed to worry about by then.

A final word from a nicer person than Scarlet…

“I have spent most of my life worrying about things that never happened.”

Mark Twain

* It’s taken me years to be able to say “I’m smart” without shame.  While we’re letting go of worry, let’s all acknowledge our strengths without shame.

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